Frustrated. Impatient. Tired.

And that’s the daddy.

In the past week and a half in the NICU, we have seen babies in far worse condition than Sage. Despite the best intentions of the nurses and the HIPAA rules, we have overheard a few things.

There was a baby who had a stroke.

There was a baby that the nurses didn’t think would survive the operating room.

There is a baby who “went limp” for no explained reason, has been under the blue lights for jaundice, and who needed a visit from a hematologist.

The first baby, born 3 weeks early, got there after Sage, and has already gone home. The second baby, born 4 weeks early, got there only a couple days ago, and was already “promoted” out of the NICU to CCN. The third baby has been there about as long as Sage, and her doctors are telling the parents she’ll probably go home by this weekend.

It’s hard to understand why Sage is still at the hospital. The only “problem” that she has is that she doesn’t take a full bottle every time. However, they’re giving her 40 mL, eight times a day on a schedule. Lactation experts have told us that infants eat between eight and twelve times a day, and Sage is very small. Maybe instead of 40 mL eight times, she should be doing about 28 mL twelve times a day.

We’ve been told everything from “probably a few more days” to “could be weeks.” Every time she shows progress, someone cautiously reminds us that she may take a step back.

We know they can’t comment on the other cases, but I’m hoping that today we can talk to someone to point out our frustration.

On the plus side, she is doing very, very well, and she is taking more of her bottle each time. We’re closer every day to the benchmark they’ve set, even if we think it might be the wrong one. I don’t question medical professionals often, since I know I’m ignorant of a lot of things, but the more information I get through this experience, the less sense some of it makes.

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4 Responses to Frustrated. Impatient. Tired.

  1. sinwi says:

    I can understand why you would feel frustrated! Hopefully you will get some clarifications and explanations that will help you weather the delay…. Eat that food, slurp that food, GOOOO SAGE!!!!!

  2. Helloheather says:

    The Not Knowing sucks. Not as bad as knowing something BAD, of course, but it still sucks. I would be frustrated, too.

    I understand that they want her to be eating a consistent, sufficient amount of food before they send her home. And, of course, nobody wants her to wind up back in the hospital. But even full-term babies are apt to fall asleep when eating (so relaxing and warm and delicious and.MmmmmZZZzzzzzzz…) and then they end up eating more small meals instead of a few big ones.

    Do they recommend stopping and playing/stroking/bothering//waking her up on purpose when she gets snoozy during a meal? I know my advisors always recommended that with my sleepy newborns, but perhaps Sage needs more sleep because she came early? But she needs more food, too! Hmmm…

    • strangedavid says:

      They’ve mentioned trying to keep her awake, and we’ve figured out a few ways to catch her attention if she starts to drift off early, but when she is done, she is DONE. We’re seeing improvement every day, though.

  3. Julie says:

    Hang in there, David!

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