Things I didn’t plan on saying today… but I did, in various contexts.
- It was either my knees or my groin.
- Nobody puts Baldy in a corner.
- Dang. I forgot the embroidery hoop.
- I’m sure this is not the first time someone has had this thought, but did you ever wonder what happened to the poor saps who tried Preparations A through G?
- I assume spiders poop.
- If your patience was half as long as your eyelashes, there would be a lot less screaming.
- I was going to throw it out, but I thought it might be nice to have something to stab.
- I don’t know, these days I think “alternative lifestyle” just means, like, those of us who eat gummi bears for breakfast.
- Come on, internet. I need my SCOTUS.
- If I ever get bionic hands that look like real hands, I’m going to insist on hidden panels behind my fingernails. And the middle ones would each have a jack-in-the-box, and the jesters that popped out would have their own bionic hands with middle fingernails each hiding their own jack-in-the-box, and so on and so on and so on, so that I could use the power of fractals to FLIP YOU OFF TO INFINITY.