When I was in high school, I was very involved in music. I was in choir, band, and our school’s touring singing group. (It was nothing at all like Glee. In fact, it wasn’t until Glee came out that I learned that anything like Glee existed.) I sometimes sang with the church choir and played drums for the Sunday School band. Every talent show, I’d try something that involved piano, or guitar. I wrote music. (Most of it was awful.)
Then college hit, and most (not all) of the music students I met were into music I didn’t like and/or were so intensely serious about music that they seemed to have lost the joy. I didn’t have the opportunity to play or sing with others.
And I’ve lost that. I have a piano — which my wife just got tuned today (YAY!!!) — and I still have my dad’s guitar as well as one that belongs to a friend. I have an electric as well that I bought from a friend, although I don’t have an amp and have never played it. I have a drum set in my “man cave,” and I blow off steam every now and then. I have a great keyboard that I seldom play.
In fact, I almost never do anything with music, not counting singing during ComedySportz shows.
And what drives me crazy about this is that I know I have lots of potential when it comes to music. I’m just always missing something to achieve that potential. Sometimes it’s bandmates. Sometimes it’s time. Sometimes it’s software.
Software, because in my head, I have dozens, maybe hundreds, of beats and rhythms and bass lines and… man. I really and truly feel that with the right time and software and knowledge of how to USE the software… and, I guess, now that I think about it, hardware… I could make some incredible music.
But isn’t that kind of how we tend to live our lives? IfI had this, I could be great. If this happened, I could be successful. If I could only do this, everything would be different.
I don’t like that. I don’t have a solution to post here, and I don’t want to leave it as something trite like “So just be happy with what you have,” because even the best advice is sometimes uselessly unrealistic.
But it’s something to think about.
What are my ifs, and how can I make those whens?