Sage’s Dwaft Gwades: NFC Nawf

Sage, today we’re going to talk about the NFC North, okay?

Huh? Who said dat? Dat was Dad?

Yes, that was me. You ready to talk about the NFC North?

Yes!

Let’s start with the Chicago Bears.

‘Cago Bayuhs? Bayuhs says “Ahhhhhhr.”

The first person the Bears picked was named Kyle Fuller.

Kaia Fuwwa? Kaia Fuwwa? Dat was Kaia Fuwwa?

Do you think Fuller will be enough to help the Bears’ secondary?

Okay.

You think he’s just okay?

Yeah.

You don’t think he’s gonna start?

Yeah. I fink… I fink he a widduh scayuhd.

Oh?

I fink he fwendwy!

They picked up three other defensive players pretty quickly. Do you think that’ll be enough to improve the holes they had on defense last year?

Yeah. I fink he down dayuh. I fink he on da phone.

By “he,” do you mean you think Marc Trestman is calling free agents?

No, bwocks ah cawing on da phone.

Blocks – the offensive line coach is calling free agents?

Yes. I changing. Now it puhfect.

Can you give me a letter grade for the Bears’ draft?

I wan’ a B.

 

 

Next is the Detroit Lions.

Twoy Winons!

Do you have a letter grade for the Lions?

I gonna give ‘em bwead.

You’re gonna give them bread?

I gonna give ‘em toast.

What letter grade?

Letter A.

A lot of fans think they skimped on defense in the draft. Do you think the new coaching staff with defensive coordinator Teryl Austin will be enough to help the defense without drafting players?

Yes. No. Yes.

You still think it was a good draft?

Yeah. Ha ha ha ha! I hit you wid a piwwow!

Would you have spent a top ten pick on a tight end?

Tight end! Tight end no. No.

You realize A is a good grade, right?

Sure. (giggles uproariously)

 

 

Okay, Sage. Packers! Go Pack Go!

GO PACK GO!

How do you grade their draft?

A. A-B-C-D-E-F-G…

You think they had a good draft?

A bad dwaft.

But they still get an A?

No!

…How about if we do it on a scale of one to ten? Can you pick a number?

Two! Two an’ a half.

OK, so not a good draft. The first person they drafted is named Ha Ha.

Ha Ha!

I don’t really have a question, I just think it’s a funny name. Do you like the name Ha Ha?

Yeah. I jus’ wuv it.

Would you want your name to be Ha Ha?

No, my name gonna be Doo Doo.

Do you think Khyri Thornton will supplant B.J. Raji?

Yes. YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!

 

 

The next team is called the Vikings. Can you give them a grade?

I pick seven.

I personally thought they got the best quarterback in the draft with Teddy Bridgewater. What do you think – is Bridgewater the best?

Weww… I got numba one.

What do you think of mid-round pick David Yankey?

Who David Yankey?

Do you think signing Jerick McKinnon is in response to Adrian Peterson’s injuries?

No lip.

I think Peterson still has his lips – it’s his legs that hurt.

Yeah. I fink he wanna go to da beach.

To rest his legs?

He make footpwints! He gotta wash his foot. And wash Mommy’s foot. And wash Daddy’s foot.

Not really draft related, but what do you think of Mike Zimmer as the new coach?

I wuv it.

Thank you! Next up, we’ll talk about the NFC South.

Bye!

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