Sage: 38 Months

This month, Sage… you sent chills down my spine.

Sage:     I miss Mommy.

Me:        I know, honey, but it’s very important to Mommy to visit Great Nanny today.

Sage:     How come?

Me:        Well… because Great Nanny is very sick.

Sage:     She has a cold?

Me:        No, she, um… she’s very, very tired and is sleeping all the time, and… um.

Sage:     What’s wong?

Me:        Oh, honey. This is hard to explain.

Sage:     Mommy is sad.

Me:        Yes. We’re all a little sad.

Sage:     How come?

Me:        Okay. How do I… okay, you’re three years old. I’m thirty-eight. Great Nanny is ninety. That’s almost a hundred.

Sage:     Dat’s a wot of numbas.

Me:        Yes, it is. And sometimes, when people get that old, they get very sick and they go to sleep.

Sage:     I had a cold and Mommy said I had to sweep so I could get bettah.

Me:        Well, yeah, but this is different. Do you remember a few months ago, when we all dressed up and went to see Great Grandma Munchel, and the whole time she was sleeping? In that, um… well, in that box?

Sage:     No.

Me:        Sage… some time soon, we don’t know exactly when, Great Nanny is going to fall asleep, and she’s not going to wake up again. She’s going to go to heaven.

Sage:     What’s heaven?

Me:        Heaven is where God lives.

Sage:     Jesus is God’s son.

Me:        That’s right!

Sage:     Is God Mawy?

Me:        No, Mary and God aren’t the same.

Sage:     Who’s God, den?

Me:        God is… well, He made everything. Everything in the whole wide world. He made mountains and oceans and he even made you and me.

Sage:     And Mommy?

Me:        Yes, and Mommy.

Sage:     And Chewwy?

Me:        Yes, and Chelle.

Sage:     And twees?

Me:        Yes, God made trees.

Sage:     HOW did He make me?

Me:        Well, He took a little bit of me and a little bit of Mommy and he put them together and you grew inside Mommy’s belly, and then you were a baby and now you’re a kid.

Sage:     How did he make YOU?

Me:        Same way – part of my mom, part of my dad, I grew and I was a baby, then a kid, then a big kid, and now I’m a grown-up.

Sage:     And God did dat?

Me:        Yes, that’s right.

Sage:     I know! Maybe God is in ‘stwuction.

Me:        …Yeah, God kind of IS in construction.

Sage:     Did He use a hammah?

Me:        Well… I guess Jesus probably did. But, honey, what I’m trying to tell you is that your Great Nanny is going to go to sleep, and she’s not going to wake up again here. That’s called dying. But when she does wake up, she’ll be in heaven.

Sage:     She’s going to heaven?

Me:        Yes. And that makes us sad, because it means we don’t get to see her again the way we do now.

Sage:     But I want to visit her.

Me:        I know. So will we, but we can’t sit and talk with her like we used to, and that’s what is making us sad.

Sage:     Gweat Nanny is going to wake up and go to heaven? And den she wiww be aww bettah?

Me:        …Yes. She will be so much better. She’ll feel perfect.

Sage:     Puhfect?

Me:        Yes, honey. And we won’t see her, but the good news is that when she’s in heaven, she can see us. She can always watch over us.

Sage:     She can see me in da house?

Me:        Yes. Anywhere.

Sage:     Den we can’t be sad.

Me:        What do you mean?

Sage:     We can’t be sad when Gweat Nanny goes to heaven and we can’t see her. We hafta be happy, because she’s dere and she can see us!

Me:        …You’re right. You’re absolutely right. We’re trying to not be sad, but it’s kind of hard.

Sage:     Yeah. I wiww give you a hug.

Me:        …Thank you. I love you.

Sage:     I wuv you. Can I go pway wiv my toys now?

Me:        Go ahead.

Life goes fast, Sage. Faster than you would think possible.

Be who you are; never forget that.

And along with that, never forget this: we will always love who you are. I moved hundreds of miles away from my family; your mother works in the same office as her parents. We have radically different connections with our families, but what’s important is this: we love our families.

Today, you asked me, “How many fwiends do you have?”

And I was stumped. Finally, I said, “A lot.”

And you asked, “Fwom ComedySportz?”

Yes. Most of my friends are from ComedySportz. And what I didn’t try to explain to you then, but I think you’ll understand as you get older, is that many of those friends are family, too.

Love your family. Let them know you love them. You currently do a fantastic job of that; I hope you never lose that.

I love you, Sage!!! Your mother and I both love you, and we are SO PROUD of the big girl you’re becoming.

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